My fast cake and a naughty joke

(varianta in limba romana o gasiti mai jos)

Well, I was doing the cream on my fast cake when I heard at a local radio station a soooo naughty and funny joke that I could not help myself....and I had to stop my activity and to have a damn crazy laugh... But, here is the joke:

" The DJs play a game called 'Mate Match'. The DJ calls someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers 'yes', he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. 

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. 
Anyway, here's how it all went down: 
DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?' 
Contestant(laughing):'Yes, I have.' 
DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.' 
Contestant: 'Brian.' 
DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?' 
Brian(laughing nervously):'Yes, I am married.' 
DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.' 
Brian: 'Sara.' 
DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?' 
Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.' 
DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?' 
Brian(laughing):'Yes, she's at work.' 
DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had s*x?' 
Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.' 
DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' 
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...' 
DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?' 
Brian: 'About 10 minutes.' 
DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.' 
Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.' 
DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have s*x at 8 o'clock this morning? 
Brian(laughing hard):'I, ummm, I, well...' 
DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?' 
Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks...' 
DJ: 'Uh huh...' 
Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.' 
DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.' 
Brian: 'On the kitchen table.' 
DJ: 'Not that great? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. 
You listen to this.' [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ] 
DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch tones......ringing...) 
Clerk: 'Kinkos.' 
DJ: 'Hey,is Sarah around there somewhere?' 
Clerk: 'This is she.' 
DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.' 
Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?' 
DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any..answers away or you'll lose.Sooooooo... Do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?' 
Sarah: 'No.' 
DJ: 'Good!' 
Brian: (laughing) 
Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?' 
Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest..' 
DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. 
Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' 
DJ: 'All right. When did you last have s*x, Sarah?' 
Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.' 
DJ: 'What time?' 
Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.' 
DJ: 'Very ! good. Nex! t question. How long did it last?' 
Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.' 
DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?' 
Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.' 
DJ: 'Where did you have it?' 
Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?' 
Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.' 
DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?' 
Sarah: 'Well...' 
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? 
Sarah: 'Up the arse.....' 
They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack , he could not stop laughing. Apparently there was an unusually high call out of the Police just after this conversation , for minor traffic collisions....

Ingredients of my fast cake:
3-4 wafers(layers)
210 g sugar
210 g melted butter
210 g caster sugar
110 g ground walnuts
110 g cut walnuts
4-5 yolks
1-2 tbs rum

Caramelize the sugar in a thick bottomed vessel till becomes golden; reduce the heat under the pan then start adding one teaspoon of caster sugar and one of butter, mixing well after each. Continue to incorporate all the sugar and butter. Finally, add ground  nuts. Remove the pan from fire and leave it to cool slightly. Add the yolks, one by one, stirring vigorously. In this moment add essences.
If, the composition seems to be too thin, you can add an extra amount of ground nuts, until it reaches desired consistency.
Fill the layers of wafers with cream.Leave cake away for several hours, or better be over night.
Faceam crema la prajitura mea rapida cind am auzit la o statie locala de radio o gluma atit de neobrazata si de 'funny' incit nu m-am putut abtine. A trebuit sa ma opresc din activitate si sa-i dau drumul unui ris de-a dreptul nebun....dar, asta e gluma, spusa pe scurt:

" Dj-ul unei statii de radio suna la telefon diverse persoane pentru a le cere sa participe la un mic joc, un fel de Stii si cistigi, cu teme ce tin de viata privata a fiecaruia. Li se pun 3 intrebari iar ei trebuie sa raspunda. Apoi sunt sunati partenerii de viata ai respectivilor, punindu-li-se aceleasi 3 intrebari. Daca raspunsurile coincid atunci cuplurile cistiga cite o vacanta, undeva...
Ei bine, a fost sunat un tip si dupa prezentarile de rigoare i s-au pus intrebarile:
-Cind a fost ultima data cind ai facut sex?
-Cit a durat partida?
-Unde ai facut sex la 8 azi dimineata?
Raspunsurile au venit intr-un final, dupa risetele si ezitarile timide ale barbatului:
-Azi dimineata la 8.
-Cam 10 minute.
-Pe masa din bucatarie.
Dupa o pauza publicitara, Dj-ul o suna pe sotia tipului care era la job in acel moment. I se prezinta, i se descrie conversatia pe care el tocmai o avusese cu sotul ei apoi incepu sa o intrebe si pe ea. In acest rastimp, sotul ii cerea femeii sa fie sincera....
Dj :Cind ati facut ultima  data sex?
Ea: Huh...azi dimineata, cind sotul a plecat la serviciu.
Dj: Ora?
Ea: 8.
Dj: Fooooarte bine...Cit a durat?
Ea: Cam 12-15 minute.
Dj: Pe aproape...dar sunt sigur ca incercati sa protejati mindria sotului....Ok, o ultima intrebare si veti avea calatoria mult visata...Unde ati avut partida?
Ea: Ohhhh...sper ca nu le-ai spus...(isi interpela ea sotul...)
Sotul: Spune-i draga mea!
Dj: Te deranjeaza ceva doamna?
Ea: Ei bine....
Dj: Hai spuneti-ne...
Ea: Direct in ...c*r.....
Joke close! Va inchipuiti reactia celor din studio dar si a celor care au ascultat emisiunea la ora respectiva....

Prajitura mea rapida

Romanian version:
3-4 foi de napolitana

210 g zahar tos
210 g unt topit
210 g zahar pudra
110 g nuci macinate
110 g nuci tocate
4-5 galbenuse
1-2 l-te rom

Zaharul tos  se caramelizezaza intr-o cratita cu fund gros pina devine auriu-roscat; se reduce focul de sub oala si se incepe adaugarea celorlate ingrediente: cate o lingura de zahar pudra apoi una de unt topit(si tot asa) amestecand foarte bine dupa fiecare. La final se adauga nucile. Se amesteca bine si se da deoparte de pe foc, lasind sa se raceasca putin compozitia. Adaugam galbenusurile, unul cite unul, amestecand dupa fiecare. Intr-un final vine rindul esentelor care vor fi incorporate in crema.
Daca vi se pare ca, consistenta cremei  nu ar fi cea dorita, se mai poate adauga nuca macinata. Se umplu cu crema foile de napolitana, stratificindu-le. Se preseaza si se lasa sa se raceasca.
Se poate portiona dupa citeva ore dar, mai bine sa faceti asta a doua zi.


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